suck on that

One day I will shop at Modcloth and Anthropologie--like, every week. Even if I'm in my 40s. DON'T CARE. One day I will get Lasik and never have to wear glasses again unless I feel like donning a sexy librarian look or something that day. One day I'll have me some gigantic breastasus that will still be perky in my coffin and my stretchmarks will be a distant memory erased by a laser. One day I'll spend my days taking the kids to do crazy fun stuff and shopping and out to awesome restaurants with amazing food. Eric and I will go on weekend getaways just because we feel like it--someplace where we'll lay in the sun and sip dranks with little umbrellas and have couples massages and whatnot. We'll have a housekeeper and landscaping service. Our kids will have their own rooms, beautifully decorated. I want wide windows and a view of something gorgeous. I want one of those huge showers with three or four heads and a sauna and a hot tub. Our kids will be able to plan their weddings without a shoestring budget. When they're ready to buy homes we will pay the down payment. Then we'll spoil the crap out of our grandkids.

Some of you may think "Damn, she is materialistic!" Well, you know what? I've had enough frugal to last 10 lifetimes. I've had enough "I don't need a new pair of shoes, these are still fine with a little glue". Enough "sorry we can't make it to that event, we're busy" Yeah. Busy not having gas money to get there and busy not being able to afford a present. I've had quite enough of not having room to entertain the way I want to. Enough of robbing Peter to pay Paul and too much month at the end of the money.

Don't get me wrong. I live a nice life. Very nice. Also I want for nothing in this world except that which money could buy. I dream of material things and financial success because that's literally all that's left to dream about. I have healthy children, a fantastic marriage to a man who make every day Valentine's day, and a wonderful family who loves us and helps us.

Me 15 years ago would look at me today and think "SHE IS RICH". She'd be right, really. By comparison to her, I am rich. I have things and experiences that poor girl dared not dream of.

That being said, in 15 years, I want to say it AGAIN.